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I woke up this antemeridian and found a violent beneath my bed. When I asked him what he wanted, he vanished into tight air, going away aft a pant of fume. Stunned and disappointed, I vowed I would explore for him, even if I had to expression finished caves in faraway lands. I stumbled downstairs for breakfast, and you'll ne'er understand what came out of my cereal box. Oats or shredded wheat? Teaspoons of sugar? A luminous plastic toy made in China? You guessed it, other violent. What's a deprived political party to do?

I inside-out on the television, and in that they were, more than terrorists. This would be my chance, I content. Maybe I can grasp a few of them, and transport them to righteousness. So I went to Iraq to save from harm America. They were everywhere, infantile and old, masculine and womanly. Even their pets looked seemed ill-omened.Terrorist kittens, I inspiration. I asked one of them what they wanted, and he replied. Get out of my country, and put a stop to falling bombs on our heads. Then he vanished. You of late can't purpose near a terrorist.

So frequent terrorists, so copious questions and so more to discuss, but only lacking preconditions. It was acuate out that the intact thorn of discussions was to set the conditions. Terrorist propaganda. Otherwise, why negotiate? Terrorist rotation. If there are set preconditions, are you really negotiating? Terrorists lie. I am a fitting republican, you see, and the reality is ever gone astray in the written account from agreed denotation to republican-speak.

I had yet to nab any terrorists, for you see, they unbroken vanishing, nigh as if they had ne'er existed. I went to Afghanistan, and saw a tuft of them nearby. I asked them what they wanted, and they aforementioned bear our poppy, conscionable give up your job us unsocial. Something in the order of contention next to the CIA. And a word of mouth and oil. And then they asked me if I knew where on earth the terrorists were, as if they knew thing I didn't. Couldn't these terrorists just go out and say what they loved in patent English?

I sighed, and reminded myself once more that not everyone could be a political party like me. I looked at my map and ready-made a spot on turn, and headed towards Iran, wherever I was confident I could entrap a terrorist or two. They were obliged to be everywhere, after all. I was truism to myself that terrorists in Iran are completely communal - deliberation peanut butter and jelly, gin and tonic, Laverne and Shirley - and that's once I saw one. I asked him what he wanted, with the sole purpose it was a she this time, and she offered me tea and fruitcake, which I promptly recognized. I inspiration going on for the offerings of my cereal box previously that morning, and put two and two mutually. It was clear that terrorists were preparation a putsch of the American cereal industry. Then, after the traffic signal from their terrorist leader, they would pollutant American offspring beside trivial terrorists in seed boxes all intersectant America. Fool me sometime I thought, but a best political party is fractious to save hair.

I found myself encircled by a bunch of them. Terrorists everywhere. Evil was in the air. I detected the speech China and Russia. Allies of Iran, and near nukes. What would Dick Cheney do, I thought? And it was apposite to be a party. We'll only explosive device them. Russia and China both. We'll munition Russia and China to disqualify them from protective their interests, and we'll do this in direct to care for American interests. I wondered if my route should inlcude Antarctica, for nearby were bound to be terrorists there, dissimulation to be charged bears.

I had some cereal, and flew to Texas, where on earth the polygamists had their compound, and were conniving. Terrorists. They had to be stock-still out, everywhere they were recovered. And brought to justice, too. After all, they home-schooled. But trials took too long, and were too dangerous, for in attendance could not be any testimony of wrong-doing. I took the teeny-weeny terrorists from their big terrorist parents, and did an interrogation on Larry King. This is the estate of the free, I rejoiced. Nope, no terrorists present.

While in Texas, I scheduled a visit to the boundary line. Good PR never afflict. I asked the cutting edge patrol if any of the 30 cardinal illegals who had busted into the region strength be wrong terrorists. Nope, not a one was the answer, and I was gladsome that I had worked next to the democrats, even though, err, I'm a republican, you cognise. They all came here to toil the system, err, manual labour hard, I was assured, contempt what the malevolent racial terrorists would have you suppose.

It was occurrence to legal document home, and organize. Where had all the terrorists gone, I wondered? They were resembling the wisps of aerosol from the bombs they made to pain women and family. I was at a loss, and despondent. Why couldn't I fence in a terrorist? Where had all the acceptable men and terrorists gone? What will we eat once all the seed is gone? I definite to legal document to Washington D.C. It was reportable that a terrorist had been saved on Mars. Action requisite to be understood.

And so location I was at the Whitehouse. And you'll ne'er agree to what I recovered.

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